22nd Day of Hospitalization for PPROM

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 19th 2019

On Sunday, the last day I posted, I realize now it was a really low day for me, mostly because I wasn't mentally occupied and had no visitors, my mind dwelled too long on what could happen instead of what was happening, then Monday I read this from a prayer journal my sister gave me. Like hello, where were you yesterday? But more importantly thank you for talking to me today. Last night was pretty routine, visited several times by nurses and techs for wellness checks and then waking up with back pain and having to ask for Tylenol a couple times. They came to get my bloodwork at 6:30am, this time I turned off my lights and got back in bed instead of starting my day. It didn't stop the nurses and residents from continuing to visit me but I was able to pull the covers over my head and fall back asleep after each chat until my nurse came in at 9:30 and wanted me to sit up to listen to my lungs and see my legs. She was really concerned I didn't feel well, but I told her I was really fine I was just trying to sleep in. Shortly after eating breakfast I read my emails and got a message from my HR department. She informed me that considering how many sick days I had left and how many I would not be working to finish the school year they would start significantly reducing my paychecks until the beginning of next school year. I responded that I wanted to return in May after giving birth because the baby would be in the ISCU until June 9th and she responded that the doctors wouldn't let me return so quickly after delivery. Later in the morning, I met another one of the high risk doctors here, there are a total of 9 and I've met 5 of them so far. She was super nice and stayed and talked to me for a long time (very long time in doctor time). I asked her if the best case scenario happened (I had a normal delivery at 34 weeks, April 28th) when would I be able to return to work? She stated that even with a natural birth with no complications she didn't expect me to be ready to go back to work for 2 weeks after delivery and then at that point the baby would be big enough to try and breastfeed and hold so I would most likely not want to return to work because I will want to be in the ISCU everyday taking care of the baby. For me this was this wonderful mixture of emotions, thinking about the possibility of Adeline being born at 34 weeks when up till now most doctors have been talking to me about emergency delivery, even to imagine that I would be able to try and feed her quickly after birth was so refreshing. On the other hand it pained me to think I wouldn't be able to work to support my family especially in these new circumstances for our family. Once again I felt like the Lord is trying to teach me the lesson of letting go of control (even though I love planning) and to let him take control, I've always been taken care of, we always got by, so why would now be any different. Luckily my boss needed our budget by Friday so I was able to mentally focus on that most of the day with plenty more to complete by Friday. Last night my sister visited me with good food, homemade cookies from my brother in law and even handmade gifts (doll and quilt) from her student's grandma and of course, her good company.

The cookie tin is labeled with #KatieFisherDay, a coworker of Terry's lost his girlfriend years ago in a tragic car accident and since she was known for making everyone homemade cookies to cheer someone up he continues to ask others to do the same in remembrance of her. I have also been blessed with fresh flower bouquets from friends and family for my whole stay here. Joel got me a lovely bouquet of Spring flowers since I can't go outside and enjoy the warm days myself. Every doctor, nurse, tech and specialist always comments on how the room smells of flowers. Tonight I tried calling my parents twice and both times my Nephew Max picked up the phone and hung up on me. Later in the evening my Mom"facetimed" me so I could talk to the family. I also got tons of texts tonight from family and friends and once again it impacts me (like seriously moved to tears) to feel how loved and blessed I am, having so many kind and gracious family members and friends, how could I be any richer?